January 14, 2026

Full Review on Substack: crocpsy.substack.com/p/the-author-is-not-here-so-did-the

The creation of the movie “10 Years Later” was, after all, a sweet accident, and I probably will start to say this to my filmography in the future as well - a creation made of consistent ramblings through pre- to post-production. To retrace at almost 1-year-mark after thinking of developing this piece into a film, it was almost like an intrusive thought wanting t… read the rest.

Full Review on Substack: crocpsy.substack.com/p/the-author-is-not-here-so-did-the

The creation of the movie “10 Years Later” was, after all, a sweet accident, and I probably will start to say this to my filmography in the future as well - a creation made of consistent ramblings through pre- to post-production. To retrace at almost 1-year-mark after thinking of developing this piece into a film, it was almost like an intrusive thought wanting to do this after reading O.Henry’s novel “After Twenty Years”. Not because I am drawn to certain specific neons of this original context, but the fact that this story was something that could be developed with a student budget and with raw, realistic settings (ie, streets), and the rest iconographies and symbolism were to be determined. It sparked for an instant, just took 5 minutes in the afternoon, and a decision was made.

With merely an urge to visualise the context, even though I credited myself as the director, I was more of attempting-to-be the visual advocate of O.Henry. Little did I know, this caused two serious problems - a) I have never nor never will be able to meet O.Henry himself to ask about what film he would envision his story to be and b) even if I have a time portal machine and can travel back in time to meet and talk with him about this, we have seperate brains that would 100% differs upon the perception of this story - I cannot percieve his thought, so does him, not even counting the diverse cultural backgrounds with a decade in advance of the boost of cilvilization. Or, hilariously, according to Barthe, not even O.Henry himself as compared to when he wrote this short.

In this case, the saying then becomes ultraly vital. The process of writing is similar to the process of filmmaking in this regard - an enduring process, never a momentary job, yet the spark is fleeting. Thus, for those imaginative artists and me, it must be a pain in the ass, yearning for the flourishing and attention of a sparking idea yet afraid of remorse for the potential ideas that float in the air during the process. Luckily, work was still done despite this internal chaotic situation.

These inputs, so quoted “work done despite this internal chaotic situation” + “external situations on sets and various logistics” and the output “10 Years Later”, formed a unique sphere that would only exist during the production phase of the film, assembly made possible by the amazing casts and crews who participated in this project. When the moment when “that’s a wrap” is called, this collective sphere contributes to the production of the work gone, like the author has died, they move on, leaving only a glimpse of impressions left to handle the interview questions, and some rest to be reactivated when revisiting them on the screen.

At this stage, not only has “10 Years Later” completely alienated itself from my original notion of production (which I don’t remember as for now), listing itself as an objective property for the readers to perceive, but also, as I progress a year with the impossibility of creating this movie after it’s done, as a specator I found my perspective upon it consistently changing, it has become a slightly fogged mirror of reflection where I found joy of laughing, thinking, and acknowledging my journey, fresh upon everytime I see it. For instance - PRACTICALY, had I never realized the unexpected charm of actually working with others other than the “camera man system” and “avant-garde filmmaking”, I would never be affirm that I’ve made the right choice - transforming from mathematic & physics department to the cinema studies institude of UofT and chosing directing as my passionate career; had I never realized this project was so actively done with no further enhancement, I would never cut tie with my identification of a creator to merely enjoy as spectator, say goodbye to self who stick around and hang himself in such looping mirages and awards recognitions in this progressive world; had I not made this film and realized how we inevitably lose our innocence to society's sophistication after graduation, I would not feel so both excited yet cautious of my own one. All of these undoubtedly contribute closer to my notion of directing cinema, I believe, to the other expressive mediums which claim their correspondent figurative voices as well - in a world that is full of conflict and contradictions, an individual that is exposed to such conflict and contradiction attempts to figure out a clear path with unique stylistic practices in an attempt to understand and dissolve their understandings of human conditions under various setting and hopefully resonate with the others.

So ending with my favourite quote of Robert Altman from his 2006 Oscar speech: “I've always said that making a film is like making a sandcastle at the beach. You invite your friends and you get them down there and you build this beautiful structure, several of you, and then you sit back and watch the tide come in. Have a drink, watch the tide come in, and the ocean just takes it away. And that sandcastle remains in your mind.” I guess this is the closest nutshell that could cover up these whole ramblings, in the most mild, innocent way possible.

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